


Temporary Enemies

by grumpyhedgehogs



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxceit - Freeform, Apologies, Arguing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Reconciliation, putting others first spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24086524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumpyhedgehogs/pseuds/grumpyhedgehogs
Summary: “So you’re sticking around then.”Janus slaps on a smirk and ignores how tight his shoulders feel. He straightens his gloves and turns to Virgil.The anxious side is hunched up inside his hoodie–the new purple and black one, the one he never had before- before– and staring somewhere over Janus’s right shoulder.“Disappointed?"
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders
Comments: 12
Kudos: 252





	Temporary Enemies

**Author's Note:**

> This comes from a prompt on tumblr: I'm a platonic hurt/comfort kinda gal, so.. anxciet apologizing for the argument that drove them apart?
> 
> I hope I delivered!

“So you’re sticking around then.”

Janus slaps on a smirk and ignores how tight his shoulders feel. He straightens his gloves and turns to Virgil.

The anxious side is hunched up inside his hoodie--the new purple and black one, the one he never had before- before-- and staring somewhere over Janus’s right shoulder. 

“Disappointed?”

Virgil’s eyes flash to Janus’s for a second, sharp and dark, before flickering away again. He ducks his head and his bangs fall across them; Janus always used to push his hair back for him when they were young. “Are  _ you? _ ”

Janus arches a brow, although his aloof bravado is probably put off by the lost expression he’s sporting. Trust Virgil not to allow him his feigned disinterest for long. “Why would _ I _ be disappointed that Thomas is listening to me for once?”

“Not that,” Virgil snaps. His shoulders hitch higher, brushing the bottoms of his ears. He must truly be upset. Something twists in Janus’s stomach. “It’s just-- you’re staying with  _ us _ .”

That...did not help clarify anything. “Uh...yes?”

Virgil gives him a significant look. 

Janus blinks back.

“With  _ me _ .”

“I,” Janus says slowly, picking his words deliberately, “have no idea what you’re trying to say right now.”

“ _ I thought you’d be disappointed to see me _ .” Virgil sounds like he’s gritting his teeth. He is once again looking anywhere but at Janus. He’s probably balling his hands into fists; tension makes him vibrate slightly where he stands.

Janus’s teeth are set on edge just looking at him; he can feel the tightness in his shoulders spreading to the muscles in his back now, sending his spine ramrod straight. His stomach turns again but Janus ignores the queasy feeling for the burn of old, hurt anger in his chest. 

“I was under the opposite impression, of course.” Janus breathes in deep when the other side doesn’t look up for more than a second. Something flashes across Virgil’s face. Confusion, maybe. Janus tips his head courteously, dangerously. “ _ You’re _ the one who left,  _ Virg _ . Not me.”

Virgil flinches, but something in him seems to turn to steel. He takes a step forward and Janus tenses even more. “It’s not like I had no reason to.”

“Oh yes, here come the accusations. What will it be this time, hm? I didn’t pay enough attention to you even though  _ I  _ was the one to teach you how to stop the panic attacks? I didn’t do enough to help Thomas in high school, even when _ I  _ was the one who made Thomas able to stand going to class by lying to him that everything would be fine? Or how about something new, huh? How about something like, ‘Janus, you may be the one who helped me  _ choose my own name _ , but you’re still the bad guy because you didn’t coddle me enough?’ How about it, what’s the new insult going to be--”

Virgil flares up to the challenge, unable to resist a good argument. “Oh, that’s rich. Who was it that told me I was gonna be the death of Thomas if I didn’t do my job, huh? Or, oh, yeah, who actually made sure Thomas didn’t go out to do those stupid stunts he could’ve gotten hurt at, ‘cause I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the guy who told him _ everything was gonna be fine! _ And who told him something wasn't right about that guy he met last month who turned out to be a huge creep, huh? Because it sure wasn’t the one who said I was probably just  _ overreacting! _ ”

“You think I’m a villain just for doing my job!” Janus accuses, voice also rising. He steps close too, unwilling to give any ground. “Which, let me remind you, you’d complain about the Light Sides doing to _ you _ all the time! I’m one half of self-preservation too, you know, I have just as much of a say in protecting Thomas as you do. I help make decisions by providing a new perspective and you’re just mad because now you’re gonna have to actually found your arguments on something other than fear.”

“ _ You _ made me believe I had to be a jerk to the other sides just to make sure Thomas listened to me.” Virgil is even closer now, and he jabs a finger into Janus’s solar plexus. Janus grinds his molars together and glares down at the other side. Virgil isn’t looking away now.

“We  _ did! _ They never used to listen to us otherwise, and you know it. I taught you how to  _ survive _ . I taught you how to take care of yourself _ and  _ Thomas. And then you had to go and make other friends and suddenly my teachings weren’t good enough for the high and mighty  _ Anxiety _ , is that it? Had to make room for your new friends and they didn’t like to play rough, huh?”

_ “You told me to leave!” _

Janus closes his mouth with a snap and stares. Virgil, too, seems surprised by his outburst, slapping a hand over his mouth. His eyes are wide over dark shadows; his knuckles are white with how hard he’s pressing his fingers against his mouth, like he’s holding in another scream. 

There is silence.

Then, slowly, Virgil lowers his hand. “You told me to _ leave _ ,” he says softly now. “You--you told me I wasn’t one of you anymore and that I should just get out, so I did. You…” He trails off, voice shaking, and Janus closes his eyes against the last, worst blow. “You told me to never come back.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Janus says, his voice sounding small to his own ears.  _ “I didn’t mean it.” _

He feels more than sees Virgil rear back. His voice is choked when he speaks. “You **_liar_ ** .”

A pit opens at the bottom of Janus’s stomach and he forces his eyes open. Virgil’s eyeshadow is black as death and he’s pale now, black and purple veins standing out at the corners of his eyes as he gasps for breath with too-small lungs. He staggers back from Janus but Janus can’t let him walk away. Not this time.

“No!” 

With an uncharacteristically clumsy lunge forward, Janus manages to snatch Virgil’s wrist before the side can sink out. Virgil tugs mightily at his hold but Janus adds his second right arm to the mix and keeps them both anchored. 

“I’m not lying,” Janus tries. He’s discombobulated, upset, not half as put together as he usually appears. Is this what Patton has to deal with every day? All these weird, squirming emotions in his chest? God, he’s never going to make fun of the man again. “I’m not lying, Virgil, please.”

“ **_No_ ** ,” Virgil is shaking under his hands, denying, “ **_No, you are. You are._ ** ”

They're both babbling, struggling, upset. This is getting them nowhere. Janus breathes deep, even if it seems there’s no air left in the room.

“Virgil. Remember your breathing.” He tries a stern voice, but soft, gentle. He uses another hand to press gently at the center of Virgil’s chest, a mirror of a moment ago. Virgil shudders, breath stuttering. “Four-seven-eight, right?”

Virgil’s eyes are squeezed shut, but his arm is limp in Janus’s grip now, and he nods, just a little. “R-ri-rig-”

“Shh. Let’s count.”

It takes a while. Janus keeps ahold of him in the meantime, counting aloud. “Six, seven, good. Now out, Virg, you’re doing so well. One, two…”

“Why are you doing this?” Virgil mutters after the third time he can exhale without his breath hitching too much. Janus would prefer he be fully recovered, but Janus almost never gets what he wants. 

There are so many things Janus could say right now. Lies flit like birds through his mind; he wants Thomas to be safe from panic attacks, he’s looking out for the equilibrium of the sides now that he’s been accepted, he just doesn’t want Vigil to complain to the other Lights that Janus was being mean. They all sound paltry and weak.

Oh, horror of horrors. He’s going to have to tell the truth on this one. It’s going to be a  _ conversation _ . 

“Because I’m telling the truth, Virg.” It comes out softer than he means it to. Virgil has to rock forward just a little to hear him. He watches and feels how the other side tenses when he says it, but doesn’t drop his hands from where they’re connected. He isn’t quite sure he can let go right now. “I never wanted you to leave. I just-- I didn’t actually think you would. And then when you did…”

Virgil isn’t pulling away anymore. Janus swallowed the lump in his throat. “When you did leave, I kept waiting for you to come back.”

“I thought you didn’t want me back,” Virgil breathes. “You told me--”

“I _ lied _ , Virg. I do that from time to time.”

To his surprise, Virgil huffs lightly. Janus lets his fingers loosen around his wrist but is loathe to drop his palm from Virgil’s chest. He’s unconsciously counting breaths, measuring how far Virgil’s chest expands on every intake of air. 

“I shouldn’t have said those things to you.” Virgil says abruptly. It startles Janus enough to step back and get a better look at his face. Virgil doesn’t move, but this time, he meets Janus’s eyes directly. His face is doing something strange, working wonkily like he’s maybe trying not to cry. Janus feels his heart lurch. “I didn’t mean any of them. I--I missed you, ya know. I didn’t want-- when I left I didn’t think I’d never see-- yeah. I missed you. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too.” Janus tries to smile but his face is behaving strangely too, and it comes out mangled and wrong. Virgil doesn’t point that out, though. He’s polite like that. “I really didn’t mean to push you the rest of the way out. I was scared.”

Virgil blinks and Janus curses himself. “I didn’t want you to go. I was afraid of how much it would hurt to say goodbye so I just-- just--”

“Made sure we could never say it?”

“Well. Yes.”

Virgil smiles now, and it’s watery but that’s okay. It’s better than okay, actually. Janus feels his own smile become more natural in return. “You’re a pretty dumb guy, Jay, you know that?”

“It takes one to know one.” Janus thinks for a second and then hisses in realization. “And I’m sorry I called you Anxiety. You didn’t deserve that, Virg.”

Somehow he must have said the wrong thing, though, because Virgil’s face crumples again unexpectedly and Janus stutters again, worried. He raises his hands in surrender, trying to think of what would make Virgil _ stop crying, please, for the love of all that is holy _ . Instead, however, he just gets an armful of crying side.

The solution is easy to see after that.

Janus squeezes as tight as he dares, wraps his arms as far as he can reach around Virgil, wraps them both up in his cape and ignores the way his hat goes flying when he leans his head against Virgil’s. Virgil’s hair tickles his cheek and Janus holds on even tighter, closing his eyes. It seems like he can actually breathe for the first time in a very long time. Virgil’s hands are fisted in the back of his shirt and his forehead is hot where it presses against Janus’s neck. He doesn’t even protest when Janus wraps his other two pairs of arms around him, just lets them sway slightly in a soothing rhythm. 

“Not that I don’t like this,” Janus tries for conversational and winds up somewhere in the  _ wet _ territory, “but can I ask what prompted this spontaneous display of affection?”

“You’re the only one who calls me Virg.”

Janus hides a smile in Virgil’s hair and hums. 


End file.
